random thoughts about death (lack of security)

i always wanted to die young, i never imagined myself 50

i thought if i should die of cancer i want it to be liver cancer
because its fast and they'll give me a huge amount of pain killers so
i'll be numbed and dead.

but it never crossed my mind that i'll die of a bleeder stab in the
street like a street dog,

or i'll die the kind of death that my family have to identify my body,
i am not afraid of dying don't get me wrong (thought i'm not sure
whether i'm ready to face my after life or not)
actually its bothering me that i'm reckless about this subject, and i
become very bold when it comes to streets harassments
but what i think about everyday when i  leave the house and in my way
back is dying in such way
i am scared of being a thrown body on a side-way..