one of my happiest thoughts

I know it's not right, but I didn't need any one else in my life. "Mozy" was enough. He gave me reason to exist, and be happy and content. 

I've always known I'll have to change to be "sane", "taking care of myself" and "socialize". 

I knew I locked myself in my comfort zone and ignored the scary world around me.

I knew all that. 

I just was not ready to change it now (or maybe not ever).

It had to be enforced by some supernatural force.

There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
I've been going through them all for a while and currently, I'm numb, which probably means i'm back to denial.

I'm not sure if having some ties ( answering his shallow phone calls, listing to his daily activities in chat,supporting him when he runs back to me when he's down or something goes wrong in his life..etc) is better or a cold-turkey approach where one cuts all ties with his ex??!!
i'm not even sure if he really is my ex yet, or even if this whole year did happened and wasn't just a dream or a nightmare. 

But I think about you everyday "Mozy". 

I want to tell you one thing; no matter what happens, how things change, you will always be one of my happiest thoughts.