heal me

As weird as it might seem
For it just seemed so real
Last night I had a dream
A dream that I could feel
But still it was a dream..

In the rain I saw you stand,
Smiling in the rain
I ran and held your hand
You took away my pain
I couldn't understand..

The only thing I knew
That I could really feel
The magic that you do
By touches that can heal,
I'm healed because of you..

You let me take your hand
And everything felt fine
Your skin was my own land
I'm yours and you are mine
A garden grew from sand..

My music was your voice
Your smile was my sunshine
My heaven was your eyes,
We reached a thousand skies..

I was in paradise

Yet still it was a dream..

confessions

I'd like to think I'm not a high-tempered neurotic person nor am I a calm and quiet one either.
 Pretty much a normal girl who tries hard to keep my emotional outbursts to the minimum in public.

I don't know how long has this been happening, but it's a recently, probably a couple of months or so. 

It's like because so many feelings and emotions are kept inside, I sort of get those emotional bursts.

 If it were a movie, you'd see my hair big and messy, dark makeup melting off my eyes, shouting , insulting and cursing.

 Yelling at the top of my lungs like a crazy person.

 Then in a few seconds, I push some of it out and go back to calmness.

 In the movie version, I straighten my hair, wash my face, put on some lip gloss and smile my way back into whatever I was doing.

sometimes , I really wish I can just tell it to the face of the people who deserve it. 

But really, the responsibility of this actions is not the kind that I can deal with.

It's odd. but it does happen! Only for a few seconds like I said. And thank God, only inside my head. 

** i have been suffering from this odd syndrome lately, which includes mixed feelings of anger, anxiousness, super hyper, feeling like crying and telling jokes at the same time

but the feeling that mostly makes me uncomfortable is this strange feeling of not belonging anywhere, i can't stand staying in any place anymore..

 when i'm i'm at work or at home or out with my friends there's this continues feeling inside that is not justified at all that i need to be somewhere else now!! 

 that's it for now.

FYI

now i come with a warning label:

"If you don't want to stick around in my life then, don't even bother introducing yourself. I can't get hurt anymore."

FYI

 I’m intimidated by the fear of being average..!!

born in the eighties

I was born in the 80s, this song is one of my favorite songs.

 It's about someone's journey in life that might be similar to many others.

 Can you tell why people look for things to control? Does this make them feel they are having a better or a more secure life?

 Does not controlling something make them feel they're inferior?

Is it a human nature to control things?

 Do you want to control something?

 What would it be?

 Would it be a job? 

A hobby? 

A skill?

 Do you think you're actually controlling something? 

Are you happy with it?

 Does it really matter?

"The trick to forget the bigger picture is when

You look at everything in close-up as often as you can"

--

I grew up in the 90's at least that's what I tried

Looking for ways to be satisfied

I went to San Diego to try out my luck

Came back 12 months later and again I was stuck

I felt like a goldfish stuck in a bowl

I was waiting for something that I could control

After 2000 no longer a kid

The world didn't end but something else did

When my father takes off I'm already 19

He wasn't as happy as I thought he seemed

If this is my screenplay I don't like my role

These are the things that you just can't control

Although I feel a lot older I'm just 23

If you're looking for answers don't come to me

Instead of a future I've got a guitar

But dreaming out loud won't get me far

Still I feel I'm ready for rock'n roll

There might be something that I can control

By the time I hit 30 I'll have enough

Of being a twentysomething in love

My friends will all be married or they will be gone

Me, I'll still be wondering what's going on

If that's what it takes then I'll sell my soul

As long as there's something that I can control

One day I'll wake up and I'll be 38

Doing the things I used to hate

The trick to forget the bigger picture is when

You look at everything in close-up as often as you can

Our revolution is covered in mold

There's only so much you can control

This is no anthem because anthems are proud

And pride isn't something that this is about

I shouldn't care shouldn't care

But I do and that's sometimes too hard to bear

Still walking the same road with my shoes full of holes

Just waiting for something that we can control

If I ever reach 50 or 65

Too early to tell if I'll still be alive

We were born in the 80's and now we are here

My generation's dream will disappear

I'm at a graveyard passing the rows

A silent surrender we'll never get close

This is my story you swallowed it whole

About us feeling the need to be in contr

P.S

never use the words magic/magical/magically unless you're talking to a kid
and most adult are mature enough to know that there's no such thing called magic
and the few who believe in it could get torn just by believing that magical stuff happens 

FYI

if  two lovers become best friends its either they never really were in love or they are still deeply in love.!!