Definitions VI.

Sabbatical: any extended absence in the career of an individual in order to achieve something. In the modern sense, one takes sabbatical typically to fulfill some goal, e.g., writing a book or travelling..

frustration struck

I had to talk myself out of bed this morning..
--

wuthering heights

this line from the great novel wuthering heights keeps pumping in my head today:- 

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."

-----

sigh

to the son i never had with love

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.


~ ~Langston Hughes ~ ~

bipolar me

على بالى

يبكى ويضحك لا حزنآ ولا فرحآ
كعاشق خط سطر فالهوا ومحاه
من بسمة النجم همس فى قصائده
ومن مخالسة الظبى الذى سنح
قلب تمرس باللذات وهو فتى
كبرعم لمستة الريح فإنفتح
--

i demand my rights for a magician stick

do you remember that post? well i am still hunted with that question whats missing? what changed?
the closest conclusion that i came to is the following:-


* i am sort of, kindda of happy. yeah i am not sad,i am actually content, come to think about it this sort of career life and this way of living was a thought that i once thought about for myself maybe with some changes
but come on, i get what i wanted so i am happy..


*i feel different, even different than the weirdo scary me, (thats what people say at least) but personally i think i have been getting those blank mind condition more often, i started having no reaction in situations that people who know me expect me to yell and get in a rage, i stopped having reaction to things i can't change, i am growing up (this phrase just jumped into my mind though i didn't thought of it at all !!)


 I feel I need a magical formula,  that can help me cast a spell on me to be more assured of what i feel and think, to answer all the what(s) and why(s), and which(s)  maybe something like a magician's stick, and get a rabbit out!
 And you know what the sad thing is.. I don't have any clue what *that* rabbit might be like or even if its a rabbit or not!