Saturday, January 28, 2012

another stolen thought to wonder about

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. .” 
― Gilda Radner

Friday, January 27, 2012

ابتعدت ..ونظرت.. فاكتشفت الكثير عن نفسى وعن الحياة

مدونتى العزيزة
وحشتينى...

تتزايد حالة التيه برغم من قناعتى الداخليه بأننى فى العامين الأخيرين كنت فى أفضل حالتى مع نفسى وكذلك كانت الدنيا معى..

العامين الاخيرين مروا كلحظة ... مشحنون بالأحداث الشخصية والعامة عامين سينمائيين كل دقيقة تمر فيهم تصلح أن تكون مشهد رئيسى فى فيلم درامى
تحقق لى على الصعيد الشخصى طموحات كثيرة بأعجوبة ... طموحات عشت أحلم بها طوال سبع سنين فأصبحت أكثر قوة واكثر ضعف فى ذات الوقت !!
بدأت معالم حياتى تتشكل أوضح أمامى ... أفكارى المبعثرة ..وما مضى وما كان يبدو بالنسبة لى الان مفهوم و
ذو معنى وانظر له الان كله من الخارج صرت الان خارج اطار احداثى السابقة فرأيت أفضل ووعيت أفضل وبدت لى الصورة كلوحة مصنوعة يدويا بها اخطاء وبها جماليات وبها روح وبها فكر وبها معنى ..

لأسباب أعرفها ولا ارغب فى التفكير فيها لم اكون اكتب مؤخرا .. برغم من سيل الأفكار برأسى .. برغم من الالاف العناوين والمواضيع المدونة بنسخة درافت فى رأسى ولكنها كلها مبعثرة بلا ترتيب أو نسق .. كما لو ان رأسى قد ضاق بأفكارى فصار يكوم الكلمات والحروف عشوائيا!!

اهتمامى بنفسى وحبى لها كان المدخل الى تحملى قضاء وقت طويل انزويت فيه عن العالم من حولى وقاطعته حتى نسيانى
حتى تهدمت بفعل الزمن والاختفاء احباطات ومعانات وذكريات وصور واحداث 10 سنوات او اقل
وخرجت من كومة الكتب والاراء والمعانى والمفاهيم والاحاديث الطويلة العميقة مع اصدقاء او معلمين اذا جاز التعبير انسانة اهدأ شغلها جودة الاشياء والاوقات وقيمتها ...
تقبلت وامتصصت ووسعة افقى لما رأيته مختلف عنى او غريب منى وصمت .. وصمت .. وصمت.
لم يعد فى حياتى ولا فى عقلى مكان بعد ما مر من سنين وما تعلمت عن الحياة وعن نفسى وقت لأفكار سلبية ولا أشخاص محبطة تعسة ولا أوقات بلا معنى ولا علاقات بلا معنى.

اكتشفت ان الحياة تكون قصيرة فقط لمن لديهم حياة يعيشونها
ان كل الاشياء نسبية فى النهاية فنفس ما يسعدك قد يحزننى ونفس ما يضعفك قد يقوينى وما تعتبره خسارة قد يكون لى فرصة
هذه هى الحياة اطار واحد متسق منفرد مترابط ومتنافر ..

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Wisdom from today

Life is short only for those who have a life to live..
Sent from my BlackBerry® powered by Etisalat Egypt

Monday, January 02, 2012

New year greeting

Stating facts ~
One of my dearest friends called me yesterday morning from USA specially to say happy new year, and among what he said was a wish he said "may god bring all your dreams true" he said it in a very sincere and honest tone that after we hang up I thought about my dreams, what I dream and hope for and I was surprised that I have got noon.
Sent from my BlackBerry® powered by Etisalat Egypt

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

forever friends

Every so often, we meet people in this world who change our lives in a real way.
Or maybe, it's that you have friends who are with you during life-changing periods of your life and they forever remain tied to that person you were as you were becoming who you are.
I have several of these friends, people who stood by me, walked with me and held my hands during critical points of my life. 
They have my secrets in their hearts, they know my soul. 
Some of them are still my friends, some still flit at the edge of my friendship circle, while others have wandered out of my life entirely.
Moments like these makes me remember how fortunate I am in the realm of friendship. How lucky I am to have a host of friends who touch me, who love me tenderly and toughly, who simply know me. 
Thank you, my friends, far and wide, for loving me and all of my numerous imperfections.

Thank you for standing by me, for holding my hand, listening to my words, hearing me.

 It has been a privilege walking this journey of life, sharing my joys.

Thank you.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

silly tricks of time

you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack, you may find yourself in 

another part of the world, you may find yourself behind the wheel of a 

large caryou may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

And you may find yourself like saying "Well...How did I get here?"

Friday, November 25, 2011

فيه شخبطة فى دماغى

been thinking about that phrase for sometime now.. its funny.. no one reads directions on a shampoo bottle anymore.. you just know you're supposed to "lather, rinse, repeat".. If product gets into eyes, wash them immediately with water. If problem persists, consult your physician. For external use only (who would ever drink shampoo!)

It's funny.. just becomes a background process keda.. you never stop to wonder or think, is there a better way to do things? Maybe i shouldnt repeat lest my hair gets too dry.. Do i need to change my shampoo? What about conditioner? it just becomes part of your routine..
(note to self -and to readers-: i sound too much like who moved my cheese!)


I am questioning my shampoo big time.. maybe i need to wash my hair with soap instead.. maybe i need to switch to a more fancy brand... i dont know YET, but what i do know is, its time to throw away that bottle and requestion my hair washing techniques!


(As my best friend he'll: ely fahem 7aga yerfa3 2eedo!) All in favor say "Aye"..


bahayes no? "feh sha5bata fe demaghy", saraseer and spiders too..


Anyway, to rap up, here is a part of a song from my childhood that i relate to....
read it thru, its deeper than it seems..


would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a fish


A fish won't do anything but swim in a brook
he can't write his name or read a book
to fool the people is his only thought
and though he's slippery he still gets caught
but if then that sort of life is what you wish
you may grow up to be a fish
a new kind of jumped up slippery fish


And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
everyday you see quite a few
so you see it's all up to you,
you could be better than you are
you could be swinging on a star




p.s. would you please say a little prayer for me..