(the) june the first

somehow i feel my day was awful and miserable and now am feeling the
same and having this urge to cry
i feel lonely
the answer to your question "why i mailed him"
i guess because sometimes when you see yourself having no present to
talk about, no future to make your loved ones/ friends share it with
you, you tend to dig up the past to prove to yourself and to those people in your present that
you once were loved, that your life wasn't always dry and empty.!!

being what i am a person who hate my past and everything in it, a
person who's allergic to memories i must say at the end of the day i
find myself/what i did today (mailing him) pathetic. 
thats the word i
was trying to find all day.