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i was angry and in huge emotional pain, but now i am not stating a fact now i was sad with you, that's how i remember it now, always sad for me, or for something that's happening to you, or even sad because of something you did to me, or something i did to you. but now it doesn't matter anymore the anger, the pain, the sadness everything. i know i am not well yet, but it doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters anymore all i can say is that i am enjoying feeling free, enjoying being real,enjoying the comforting peaceful fact that i don't have to take any more risks for you, "actually i decided not to take any risks for anyone ever again" i am enjoying the stat of no worry and the calmness that comes from it i am enjoying being just me without being obligated to be a friend, a lover, a mother, a therapist. i am somehow comfortable with the idea that we reached a cross road, where there's no turning back, because this mean no more waiting, no more talks, no more fear, no more tears i am happy being alone with me, that's the only person on earth that i am 100% sure will be here for me when in need . and even if i ended up dying alone it doesn't matter anymore, because it'll be my choice.. ME