a thought from today

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Faith, overlooked human quality

Faith is a powerful human force, always at work even without the awareness of its agents. Like reason or creativity, faith is a human quality that shapes the behavior of individuals and of societies. In the western world, faith is commonly regarded as irrational, and discarded altogether from social or psychological discourse. Canadian philosopher and humanist John Ralston Saul, in his social critique entitled On Equilibrium, argues that democratic society must progress by balancing the essential human qualities or forces, to reach global justice with individual freedom. The qualities that he cites are: common sense, ethics, imagination, intuition, memory, and reason. He argues that reason has been the predominant quality in the West, leading to the tyranny of that trait at the expense of loss of balance with other qualities. A humanist message indeed.

رولا جبريل وعقدة الخواجة المصرية

بعد الضجة الاعلامية الهائلة والتى تبناها الكثيرين من الاعلاميين وصاحبى الأقلام فى كل مكان عن رولا جبريل الصحفية العالمية الشهيرة بجرأتها والتى تحمل الجنسية الايطالية والاسرائيلية، كان لزاما على ان اجلس أمام القاهرة والناس لأشاهدها وأتابع الحوارات التى حتما ستهز مصر، فبالنسبة لى هذا هو المبرر الوحيد للاستعانة بقوى اذاعية اجنبية، فتحت التلفزيون وجلست اشاهدها مع "غالى" واخرجت مخالبى منتظرة ما ستفعله تلك القطة البرية الجميلة الملامح التى تتميز بتان وهمى أعتقد انها اخدته فى شرم او الغردقة، ما علينا من شكلها، بدأت رولا تسأل، فصدمتنى لغتها العربية المكسرة والتى يصعب على الضيوف انفسهم احيانا فهمها، قلت مش مشكلة الغاية تبرر الوسيلة، ادينى يا رولا بأه اسئلة جامدة تخللى الضيف يا اما يقوم يروح يا اما يقول كلام جديد غير الكلام المستهلك اللى بنسمعه على طول زى مثلا ما محمود سعد بيعمل والا عمرو الليثى والا مفيد فوزى، والا لميس و غيرهم كتير، الا انى فوجئت بأسئلة بتطبطب على الضيف، و مافيش كلام جديد بيتقال، قلت مش مشكلة اديها فرصة تانية، النهاردة كان معاها حنان ترك والحوار اتحول لنفسنة ستات وكلام عن الكوافير اللى حنان عاملاه للمحجبات، بصراحة اصبت بحالة من الغثيان، يا نهار اسود! اومال جرأة ايه وايطاليا ايه؟ وفى النهاية ده مستوى الاسئلة وده مستوى الحوار، الحقيقة لحظتها افتكرت مذيعين كثير ومذيعات اكثر لديهم من الجرأة ما يفوق رولا هانم بكثير بل وصحفيين وصحفيات ايضا لكن يمكن عيبهم الوحيد انهم صنعوا فى مصر، مع ان ميزتهم ان لديهم من اللغة ما يمكنهم من محاورة واضحة على الاقل لينا يا قاهريين وده حسب اسم القناة اللى المفروض عنوانها هو "القاهرة والناس" يعنى الكلام موجه لينا مش لايطاليا ولا للعرب مع كامل احترامى ليهم.. قلت يا بت مش مشكلة اهى عقدة الخواجة اللى لازم تنط لنا من وقت للتانى فى شتى نواحى حياتنا، واللى طبيعى ان كل اللى عندهم العقدة ده يصقفوا ويتغنوا برولا النصف ايطالية والنصف عربية الجريئة اللى ماجبتهاش ولادة دون ادنى نظرة موضوعية لما تقدمه رولا، الناس دى بتقعد متنحة وبتصقف لمجرد انها اجنبية...افهم ان ده يصدر من انسان بسيط معمول له مسح مخ يا ولداه، لكن من صحفيين واعلاميين، اظن عيب أوى اوى الكلام ده، على الأقل لانهم عارفين ان الجرأة عمرها مابتكون جرأة مذيع لواحده لكن جرأة قناة بأكملها، وهامش الجرأة ده لو قليل فى قناة لايمكن ان نتخطاه بأى شكل من الأشكال، فقد كان لى الحظ ان اظهر فى معظم الفضائيات والبرامج وكتير مثلا كانوا بيقولوا لى اوعى يا أمل تقولى كذا او كذا، اوعى تتكلمى فى الموضوع الفلانى...الى اخر المحاذير اللى بتضع على بق الضيف نفسه الف قطعة سوليتيب فما بالك المذيع، فالموضوع مش موضوع عضلات مذيع لأ الموضوع فى المرتبة الأولى هو موضوع عضلات قناة.. المهم عدت مأساة رولا وقلت أشوف البرنامج اللى بعده فلاقيته يا اخوانا برنامج "لماذا؟" و المذيع تونى خليفة، الله؟ ضربت عينى على لوجو القناة مرة تانية علشان اتأكد ان اسمها "القاهرة و الناس" لاقيتها مظبوطة قعدت اتفرج وكان مستضيف "رولا سعد" وطبعا هو لبنانى وهى لبنانية فكان بينطلق براحته فى اللهجة اللبنانى مما أدى الى ان الضيوف المصريين اللى كانوا قاعدين معايا مايفهموش كلام كتير ولانى عندى اصحاب لبنانيين كتير وبفهم لهجتهم كويس نوعا ما، فكنت بقوم بالترجمة.. خلص البرنامج لاقيت نفسى بخبط كف على كف واقول أمال "قاهرة" ايه؟ وانهى ناس اللى القناة دى بتخاطبهم؟ انا شايفة انه كان من الأولى ان طارق نور يسميها "أجانب القاهرة والناس".. قلبت القناة وأنا بتحسر علينا كشعب بيموت فى كل ما هو غير مصرى وبيضرب له تعظيم سلام بغض النظر عن جودته، بدءا بالتيشيرت اللى مصنوعة فى لندن من قطن مصرى و فى مصانع مصرية لكن عليها براند انجليزى فبيخلى تمنها 300 جنيه مع انها متكلفة 20 جنيه وهى زى الفل لان القطن مصرى والصناعة برضه فى مصر، وانتهاء باستيراد مذيعين ومذيعات علشان اعلامنا يبقى براند برضه، الله هى جت على وسائل الاعلام وقفلت؟!! اتساءل الى متى سنظل نعانى وطأة عقدة الخواجة فى كل حاجة؟ أنا تعبت مصرية بموت فى مصر وفى كل ماهو مصرى، صنع وادعك واتمرمط واتمرمغ فى تراب مصر، عارفين ليه؟ لانه بيبقى قريب منى، شبهى، بفهمه وبحس بطعمه، وبيفهمنى ويحسنى، علشان كده اخطر شيئ انى أخاطب شعب بلهجة وفكر شعب تانى، لا الكلام عمره هيوصل، ولا الشعب عمره هيفهم، ولا الاعلامى الاجنبى عمره ماهيكون ملم بخبايا امور الضيوف المصنوعين فى مصر، فلذلك هتنتج برامج مشوهة، حتى تونى فى حواره مع رولا سعد ولانها من بلده، فكان فاهم خباياها ومدرك لمفاتيحها، ولانه من بلدها وهى كمان عارفة خفايا اموره فكبسته كبسة سودا، عكس حواراته مع المصريين وده طبيعى جدا، الورد البلدى لو اتسقى بدل مية النيل عصير جريب فروت هيتخنق، وهو ده اللى بيحصل لى أودام البرامج اللى بتشر جريب فروت فى حين انى محتاجة لبق مية مصرى..

thought from today

They say i'm too old to play hide and seek. yet i am willing to give anything up just to hear someone says “I found you”

يا ماما ركزى وانت بتدعيلى

,  ماما دايما بتدعيلي دعوات على مزاجها , ملهاش أي علاقة باللي انا فعلا عايزاه 

 يعني مثلا أكون مزنوقة في قرشين و أقولها يا ماما أدعيلي ربنا يفك زنقتي , تقوم تدعيلي مثلا بإبن الحلال

 أو أقولها أدعيلي ربنا يوفقني مثلا في اجتماع مهم في الشغل  تدعيلي مثلا ربنا يوقفلي في طريقي ولاد الحلال.

 كله حاجات من النوع ده لحد ما قلت خلاص هي مع نفسها بقى , تدعي على كيفها وانا  أدعي على كيفي

كل ده عادي, 

الجديد بقى ان من كام شهر كده بقى في دعوة جديد , "ربنا يحبب فيكي خلقه" .

 الصراحة , الدعوة حلوة ,
 و حبيتها.
 أصل حب الناس نعمة من ربنا ,
 و بعدين حد يكره الناس تحبه؟

 كل حاجة في الدنيا بتمشي اسهل لما الناس تحب الواحد . 

قلت ماشى ,

 الحمد لله برده ,

 مافيش احسن من دعوة الأم.

 لكن النهارده , قبل ما انزل من البيت , أمي قلتهالي تاني.

 و نزلت و عملت الى ورايا و جيت على اخر اليوم بستنا تاكسى
 ظهرلي  من تحت الأرض واحد شكله شحات,

 قلت ماشي , أمرنا لله و طلعت الخمسة جنيه من المحفظة علشان اديهله 

وظهرت المعجزة , الراجل رفض الخمسة جنيه !!

 ايون 

, تصوروا ,

 شحات يرفض الفلوس , عيشنا و شوفنا .

 المهم , بص لي بإبتسامة و قالي " تسمحيلي لو سمحتي"

 وقبل ما أنطق اصلا, الراجل كمل 

"أنت جميلة أوي "و ابتسم تاني و كمل

 "معلش , انا اسف , انا كان لازمة اقولها "

 طبعا انا اتثبت و معرفتش اقول حاجة 

, فمشيت.

 بس الموقف طبعا خلاني افكر في أمي و دعواتها.

 لما وصلت البيت ابتسمتلها و قلتلها

 "و النبي بس يا مامتى , لما تدعي ربنا يحبب فيا خلقه , ابقي حددي انه خلق بالضبط

man and dog

Take an old dirty, hungry, mangy, sick and wet dog and feed him and wash him and nurse him back to health, and he will never turn on you and bite you. This is how man and dog different !!!

من شعر الحلاج

مــــكانك في قلبـــي هو القلــــب كلــه *** فليس لشيء فيه غيرك موضع و حطتك روحي بين جلدي و أعظمي *** فكيف تراني إن فقدتك أصـنع ؟ ولا هممت بشرب الماء من عطش *** إلا رَأَيْتُ خيالاً منك في الكـــأس ولو قدرتُ على الإتيان جئتـُكم*** سعياً على الوجه أو مشياً على الرأس

Are you gonna eat this?

So, the story goes that we (I, my friends, etc etc, not necessarily the reader who might not know me!), we have come of an age where we are getting -slightly- wary of being single.. yes I know independence and freedom and career woman and what have you, but at the end of the day, you really look for companionship and partnership and a witness to your life and the works.. add to this the natural human (or universal) instinct to leave an offspring, and we've got a recipe for disaster! but first let me give you a little background.. the theory basically is that, let's face it, our resources are really limited, all the good ones are taken, only the freaks remain etc etc, you hear it all the time!.. so when a girl finds a "hot shot" (as i like to call them), or at least what she _believes_ to be one, she latches on to him like there is no tomorrow! am not judging 1) the need for a partner, 2) the "latching" technique, 3) how the guy's hotshot-ness increasing exponentially with the lack of options, or 4) the fact that there is no tomorrow if she misses out on this one.. what I am discussing is what happens when the latching for one reason or the other doesn't work and the guy is back to the demand market.. now the funny (sad? ironic?) relationship scene that I've -perhaps unwillingly- become part of have introduced a new hook-up methodology: I proudly present the "Are you gonna eat this?" technique.. You know when you're out with a friend and they order some meat dish which comes with a side of broccoli or asparagus, something you really like, and you find them pushing it around the plate to make room for their meat eating rituals.. the typical reaction -if you two are close enough- and if you don't mind this, that you will go like "are you gonna eat this?" and you'll just go on picking the food from their plate.. This is exactly what I am talking about.. your friend leaves her food (or -lets admit it- sometimes the "food" leaves her), and you find yourself eying it with thoughts of -for lack of a better term- hunger.. going like "hmm it doesn't look too bad, OK so she took a bite but so what, its not like she bit it off, she used a knife and all.. and after all its not so soaked with the sauce, and it didn't get too cold to eat it yet.. I think I am going to have it, better than it being thrown away"... the friend's reaction would now be: 1) But I was going to eat it: suddenly she becomes a fan of the broccoli she was _just_ dissing! 2) How can you have the broccoli that turned ME down: we start the drama-queen act of "how can you do this to me after what broccoli did to me", "didn't you know I love broccoli", etc etc.. you need to really a) love the broccoli or b) be desperately hungry, to go with this knowing she will give you this attitude 3) Go ahead, have it: you need to watch out for the tone of this one because it can be sarcastic, bitter, or sincere, based on the friend's relation with broccoli in particular, and other vegetables in general.. it can be summarized in: a) it tasted funny and I was throwing it away anyway: the bitter or cynical tone can mean she is either too proud to say she wants her broccoli, or that she really doesn't want it but still feels bad about someone else having it, or b) I wasn't going to have it, and you know what broccoli is like, so if you still want it, be my guest: ideally, that would be the best case scenario.. but OK, it rarely happens! :D Ideally, you should have ordered your own broccoli if you liked it so much.. but as someone once told me "it shouldn't have been this way but that's the way things are"... hmmm, I think I will go off veggies for a while then. and this concludes my theory..

thoughts in my brain during fasting :)

Do you guys know what happens inside the brain when try to convince yourself and believe in things that by definition are unnatural to you? 
 Imagine a security gate at the entrance of your brain, which stops every incoming idea/value/theory/rule/analysis of situations/decisions... etc before it enters to question it and see where it fits within the natural classification of the brain.
 By natural classification, i'll assume that your brain already has different rooms for what you like and believe in, what you can accept but prefer not to be involved in, and what you can't absolutely acknowledge and others as needed So what happens is, that security gate sorts out which incoming go to which room. So far that sounds well and good, but what happens is, sometimes while an idea is roaming freely in your brain, it meets a certain "analysis of situation" which belong to a different room. 
They chat for a while and move on each to their designated place.
 also is normal, even if these two are contradicting, they just chat, either argue and each insist on its position or they broaden your horizon and allow you to be less judgemental and more tolerant.
if it doesn't get into their own issues, they just talk general stuff.


 The issue I'm talking about is when An idea/core value that you've always had, has an argument with an oath you made/thought you came up with after a situation.
And a decision is born, a deranged, mis-formed, mutated decision who was not supposed to have existed in the first place because its very unnatural to you.
Got the picture?
I'll assume you said yes :) Well, good. 
 So what happens then? 
"core values" and "oath/thought/analysis" fight over the decision.
Each has valid reasons why the decision should be with them and is ready to fight battles to get decision to their side.
And that's exactly what happens, a war inside your brain where the trip of both sides are all involved.
You start re-examining every single unit of your brain, be it a value that you were raised to which you now question its degree of validity and why you've taken it for granted , be it an opinion that you have formulated after what appeared to be a long and thorough examination of the facts and circumstances which you don't even trust now, or be it just an idea you applied out of convenience and social considerations.
You tear the whole place down and start re-questioning brick by brick which is absurd ,of course, considering cause how would you know which are the right questions and what is "right" anyway.
The romantics might say the solution is simple "follow your heart, it will light the way", while the pragmatist will say "it's only after chaos that order is born".
To both of you people out there, i take my hat off, yet say "ha2aoo"

a thought from today

Does anybody know where's the Good in GOODBYE!!!??

just a thought

i hate how my advise helps out so many people, yet i find i cannot take the advise i just gave out for myself? the more i help someone else the more i find myself struggling to feel better within me. the more i try to help someone stand up , the more it hurts me when i'm down and alone and nobody by my side to left me up.

Definitions V

sadness: when life forces you to be mute, when you have many words inside you , yet you feel your voice is dysfunctional.

Definitions IV

frustration: when you look at the things/people that matters the most to you and you see blank.

Definitions III

hopeless: when you are alive but not living

Definitions II

insufferableness: when you can't even bear your own skin..

brain dump

Did you ever wish that someone in your life just disappears along with all the memories associated with them? Just like deleting a folder off their computer, doesn't the system ask you if you're sure you want to delete all the files inside it? That's exactly what I want to do. I can't hate that person enough, I should hate more, I just don't have it in me to hate someone that much. It kills me to have a few remaining good/funny/emotional memories. And the feeling of injustice is overwhelming that it makes me act irrational sometimes. May you always suffer for messing up my mind. May your heart ache for ruining my moment. May every memory we ever shared pain you as it pains me ,you made me hate the good times we shared. And yes.. that's not hate enough.

a thought from today

An ending is an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories led up to it, it would always have the last word.

Fearless

To me fearless isn’t being afraid it’s getting hurt, having doubts, being afraid but still living life in spite of that. Its having your heart broken but still giving it to someone else who you think deserves it. Fearless is thinking you are a bad person but yet you still try to change that. Fearless is having been at gun point but then gets away and isn’t afraid to go back out there. Fearless is many things. To a girl fearless is having a guy tell you he loves you and not mean it and dump you or cheat on you. Fearless is getting back out there after being hurt. Fearless is what we all are.....

من المـؤلم

من المـؤلم ان تمر عليك لحظه تتمنى التخلص فيها من ذاكرتك ان تجلس مع نفسك فلا تجدها ان يتغير الذين من حولك فجأه وبلا مقدمات تؤهلك نفسياً لتقبل الامر ان تطرح على نفسك اسئله لا تملك القدره على الاجابه عليها ان تصافحهم بأستفساراتك فيصفعوك باجاباتهم ******* من المـؤلم ان تفني نصف عمرك بزراعة الورد في طريقهم وتفني نصف عمرك الاخر لتجنب اشواكهم التي زرعوها في طريقك ان تكتشف بعد الاوان انك مدرج لديهم في قائمة الاغبياء ان تكتشف انك تكتب لانسان يقلب حزنك وحرفك في ملل

it's.........

It's the feeling of emptiness as you think about life, it's the sorrow that fills your soul as you consider the day, it's the knowing you'll end it the same as it began, it's the sinking feeling of being alone, alone in a world full of people.

حقيقتى

في طفواتي كنت أحلم دوما باستمرار سعادتي و تحقيق طموحاتي , لم أكن اشك لحظة بألا تكن ,ولذلك كلما فقدت جزء منها كنت اتشبث بطموحاتي و كأنها بر الأمان فقط اتسلح بالصبر و احتفظ قدر ما استطعت بعقلي فظللت احلم حتى في احلك سنوات حياتي بأني سأغدو كطير يحلق في السماء :) احيانا كثيرة كانت احلامي الممكنة تعذبني و نفسي تحاسبني حتى انا عذبت نفسي كثيرا و لم ارحمها حتى اذ فجأة سقطت فقدت عقلي جننت لم اتحمل كل ما مررت به من حرمان و احتياج يائس للحب الحب بكل معانيه كنت اشعر بأن كل شيء قد فقد و احلامي اصبحت مشوشة فقدت الطريق لكن الأن صرخت استنجدت بالآخرين اني اريد الحياة اريد ان اضحك من جديد ان انجح و احقق كل مالم يخطر على بال ,جعلتني اقاوم الرغبة في الموت ,كانت لحظات حرجة في حياتي و العودة منها كالولادة من جديد لكن لمن ولدت؟! لكي يقتلني أناس ألف مرة !!!! ليعذبوا آدميتي !! ليستغلوا مشاعري لِمَ لَمْ أجد من يرحمني ؟ اني حقا مذهولة ما الذي حدث للناس ؟؟؟؟؟ حين كنت طفلة كانت امي تقل اني طفلة حساسة الآن اصبحت حساسة اكثر من اللازم فحروق نفسي باتت تؤرقني.. ولم اعد اقوى حتى على خدوش احساسى

in a stroke of hate

I woke up, ate, went back to sleep. I slept to dream of those that hate, I hate to sleep to dream of you. You dreamed of people hating you. I dreamed of hating you too. I hate to love you, laughs at the times we're together in harmony, I hate your beautiful lying eyes, I hate the way you say my name because it all brings me back into our silly game. I hate this game, I hate this shame. The thought of loving, liking, despising, forgetting this game and hating you for everything. i made a mistake somewhere between here, now, this time and place, and then you decided to take me as a friends, best friend, great amazing relating friend , we kissed... We catalyzed our own destruction right then and there... We were "in love" for a while. I hate to say it, but thank god it was only just a while. This is to you, my most hated part of my shoe, the soul of it. I hate me for loving you. You were the most beautiful, lovely, disgusting mistake I've ever made in my life. This is for those of you who hate to love right now, who don't want peoples drama in your life, this is for those of you who can't stand to look out the window see the rain remember "She/He said they loved the rain... I hate him/her..." This may not be the most poetic thing I've ever written, but you try and do better in a stroke of hate.

ماذا أكتب هُنا وماذا أكون؟؟

يُحكي أن وراء الجُدران الرمادية في يومٍ عاديٍ منْ أيام الدهر افترشت هي الورد سريرا و باتت تُهدهدُها للنوم طيورٌ مهاجرةٌ لبلاد الوجع المعجون بطعم القهر نامت كأن النوم منجاةٌ وكأن الحرب قد بدأت وكأن بعيدٌ هو ذاك النصر جمعت حقائب هزائمها وركضت بين جيوش الحزن هي ما خاضت يوماً معركة إلا وأنهتها بخذي الفر قصتها حزينة كضحكتها تُروي علي ألسنة الحكائين كسبيل مثالٍ لا حصر يُحكي أن جاءها جُرحٌ اخفي من عينيها ضوء القلب فلجأت إلي بلاد النوم هاربة حُجتها أن البحر عميق جداً وأنها تغرق فيه سواءٌ مع شمس الغرب وحجتها أنها طفلة مدللة لاتحمل زادا يكفي ليُطعم جوع الدرب حتي أوعية الماء معها قد ظمأت كادت أن تُفقد خوائصها كاد أن يُشعلها حريق الحرب ذهبت وكحلت بالنوم جفون متعبة حتي ذاب الكحل في الدمع المتحسر بآهات الكرب لم تعرف لم تعرف أن النوم في معاجم اللغة ضعفا وشحوب لم تعرف أن النوم خلسة سهلٌ وأن الصحوة وجعٌ وأن بعض الداء دواء وبعض النوم هروب لم تعرف أنها حمقاء تنشد علي الأرض كمالاً والنفس الإنسية مشوهة بآفات وعيوب يا من تخشين قلب الحياة إن الحياة عقل الجنون وإن الخوف من الخوف جُبن وكل ذنب إلا الجبن يهون كل الخطايا بإذن الله ممحوةٌ ولكن اليأس من روح الله شركا بصاحبه يخون إن العواصف قد رحلت هادمةٌ هنا بيتا و هادمةٌ حصون إن الليل يطفأ فينا قمرٌ يطفأ حتى الأمل الحنون قد قالوا أن النور جريمة في حق الظلام وحق السكون و أنتِ مازالتِ كما أنتِ في نومك نائمة علي هوامش الدنيا مغلفةٌ بألحفة الشجون كم مضت قبلُكِ دُنَّا وكم مرت من قبلكِ قرون قد سئم النوم من نومك ومازال بالصمت الجلاد يحتكم ومازال تعلو بداخلنا سجون كل الأحلام إلي الغد مرتحلة ألا ترحلي معها فإن لم يكن نبض الدماء في القلب حياةٌ فماذا يكون؟؟ وإن لم تكن الحياة صلاة وحب فماذا..ماذا تكون؟ وإن لم تكوني أنتِ فماذا أكتب هُنا وماذا أكون؟؟

A mutual addiction

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.


i remember when

i liked the days when boys were written down on paper listed on my top 5,instead of me carrying them in my heart. When i would brag about how cool my parents were, instead of talking about how they now ruin my life. When the only reason i didn't want to get out of bed for school was because i were sleepy, & now it's because each day is a struggle. While hide & seek was the coolest game, instead of guys seeing how many girls they can go out with at one time. When i wished upon birthday candles, & now i wish on a guy who is holding my heart. The days when i were just a little girl who still had her innocence, & now i'm a grown women who knows that everything has changed.

YES, been there, done that!

YES, it’s a very regular phrase we all say every now and then; the frequency of saying it depends on how much experience you've. YES, we all have the same experiences because of different situations, the lesson is always the same and we do all read it in mails flying between us that show how similar we all are! YES, we have been raised that every thing that brings joy or happiness is a sin, don’t wear that, don’t be in a relationship "3eeb", don’t speak to this girl, she is a devil, Its an order to live according to others point of view. YES, spontaneously we criticize others, for example when you find two young persons walking on the cornich, you start to criticize them, even if you think about it and know that it's their right to love!! It's normal because you have been raised on that! Its not just family; the whole society! Masha2 Allah..kolo ba2a mosle7 eg'tma3y men el darga el 2ola!! YES, we all know what is right and what is wrong" but sometimes and in a certain age, we do the wrong things just to hurt others and we discover – may be after it's too late – that the only person who got hurt is your own and no body else. YES, in our society, it's forbidden to THINK by your own and makes your own judgments... YES, religion in our society means FEAR, when they teach us how to be religioned, its always fear, its always DON’T DO.. The hell is waiting for you. No space to make your own mistakes! The ironic thing is, all gathering you set in, the same people that say " DON’T…" talk about every one, cheat, lie; and this is all "SOCIALIZING"... YES, I'm not saying to drink win and have sex and feel that nothing wrong with it! "The BALANCE" and what makes you really comfortable with your soul, want to drink win, see others who drink and see after they got drunk what they do, need sex, go and get married from the person you CHOOSE, with what you can manage and afford! Then and only then, NO woman will ACT just to have a wealthy groom and no man will act as if he " deek el baraber ely malosh mesal "just because he has money and may be all what he needs is three words " a3ozo bellah..enseref " YES, we are afraid, its all fear and fear and fear.. till the limit you cant even know what do you like or dislike. You just have to accept what is offered.. And if you overcome your own fear, you won't escape others fears. And the endless circle again and again.. YES, the end is the same for all of us, DEATH, I do afraid of death but I'm afraid more to waste my life thinking of it and awake all of a sudden to find myself a very old woman that wasted her life thinking of it and rarely lived! YES, no one knows when he or she shall die, but we all do know that we are ALIVE. we all afraid of living our lives!! YES, we do take the religion cover just to escape from reality and we want to guarantee the unknown with loosing the way to reach it, and finally and with this attitude, we may loose both. YES, this is not coming from a wisdom sheikh or monk or even a priest, I'm just a normal human being, been there, done that!

Sometimes...!!!

Sometimes, people can go missing right before our very eyes. Sometimes, people discover you, even though they've been looking at you the entire time. Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying enough attention. We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it's easier. Sometimes we find our own way out. But regardless, always, we are found.

LIFE FOR RENT Dido

I haven't really ever found a place that I call home I never stick around quite long enough to make it I apologize that once again I'm not in love But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking It's just a thought, only a thought But if my life is for rent and I don't lean to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea To travel the world alone and live my life more simply I have no idea what's happened to that dream Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me It's just a thought, only a thought But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try Well how can I say I'm alive If my life is for rent...

It doesn't interest i want to know !!!

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!” It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."

untitled thoughts

i might be feeling a hundred feeling, i might not be able to tell them, i might not be able to find words to describe them even yet fear i can describe and yes i feel afraid to see you with your next lover,as i might cry, or to see you with a lover for whom you are ready to die,I'm afraid that you are gone and every time i will feel the pain of your absence I'm afraid I'll need to cry. yet i know well i should Fear not, for you have nothing to fear.. care not what i hear, what matters is i shared... was love, was pain, was a million things to gain, was hope was light, was a reason to live and fight????!!!!... the day we were drawn apart was the day my death had start,..

wisdom from today

sometimes it is better to fall back and let things unfold and come back when your needed rather than trying to fix everything and make it seem all better

a thought from today

Sometimes, Not knowing is better than knowing because.. When you run out of questions, you don't just run out of answers; You run out of hope.