and here's my updates in plain words

finally i am here, to say my big news :)


i officially left my work and the whole telecommunications industry for good,
 no more mobiles. no more quota,no more sales..


the story
about a month and a half  ago i started preparing my file to present it to department of justice after my father pulled some threats and got me a job at the Supreme Court of Appeal,
 so after 5 years of feeling that my work is eating my life
i'll have a life, i'll have fixed times of work, have lots of time to do other things during the day, which amazingly fits the plan i recently put for myself.

i know the payroll is going to be less than what i used to take, but i'm totally fine with it
 as long as it will cover my expenses,
all my friends thinks that i'm stupid for making such career swap, but i'm really happy and comfortable, 
i believe that i'm taking the right decision  for me here, 
and common  be realistic its not like when i took the big salary i went clubbing every night, or spent my holidays at spas and getting tanned sitting in poles or shopping for evening dresses.


bottom line
 this thing was in my mind for many years, and it happening now is a perfect timing for me, 
as i need the change, and the different life.


second update
 couple of days ago i booked an appointment with an Orthodontics on wednesday, to straighten my teeth, 
which is another thing that has been in my mind for many years also.


* now my plan is complete in my mind i'll reveal it exclusively to you my virtual world (L)
i decided to give time for myself, lots of time.
i decided to get everything i wanted to do to me "look wise" and postponed it before done by the end of this year isA.
i will make me worthy loving me,working on my phobias, and issues that needs to be worked on.  
i'll finally do what i always wanted to do but was too busy extending my hand for others, while i knew that deep within me i'm a mess, i'm not complete 
i'll be complete on my own, to be able to give, to be able to share,
i won't live in a bubble as i did last year, waiting for love and appreciation to come from the outside, waiting to be loved to feel good about me and love me 
its just not right.
i am my priority for the time being.
i decided i'll no longer take risks for anybody, nor change my life routine.. 


*now to the part that has been rolling on my head since i got the news that tomorrow is my first day at my new job:


new day, new people, new place, new life, new expectations, new perspectives.... 
new,,me?!! still can't tell


*tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life :)
wish me well 
here, i'll leave you with this amazing song and say
nighty night

within a friday

i was planing to share some newly updates about my life, write a positive and joyful post since  last night
but i kindda got hunted/ distracted by some unwelcomed memories that pumped into my mind and some useless thoughts too, so i guess since the plan changed i will be posting a secret about me and a quote from grey's anatomy..


the secrets:
* i am an anti sociable person, not that i hate people but i just like spending my time with myself, usually i always come up with fake excuse or silly ones not to go out with anyone whoever this was.


* i never say the whole truth about anything to anyone no matter how close this person is to me , there's always a lie in the truth i say, there's always something not said, there's always something hidden just for me.


* i don't feel comfortable in big groups, i always have to feel unique, so it takes my a huge effort to bound with everybody and leave a good Impression , but i usually mess it up, and do somethings extremely foolish simply because i don't have the ability to judge people correctly from first sight.


the quote :
"we do not get unlimited chances to have the things that we want, and this i know, the missing of an opportunity that could change your life"
i so much relate to this quote for i am that girl who always waited for another chance to set something right, and once i do unfortunately life is not kind enough to accept it, 
being someone who wasted so many chances that i have been giving or asked for from dear people that my vanity made me take them for granted..


 for now i leave you with this music of special memories

and  i promise i cheerful, optimistic post really soon
thats all for now
xxxxx

one side conversation at the dentist today

my dentist: "Did something break inside last time? "

Because this definitely couldn't have happened today, it must be last time." 

That is the kind of speech I definitely don't wanna  hear while lying down at the guy's mercy! 
and despite the anger rage that is constantly Accompanying me nowadays I just  had two options to choose between

first: pretend that i overheard someone talking about a different person other than myself.
second: pretend I didn't hear anything " and thats what i did :s.

updates

isn't  it just typical that the minute  you take a decision, the whole world 
conspires to make sure you don't follow through!!

You start a diet, then your mum starts making brownies and cookies, and you get to be invited to lunches outside, that you can't say no to..

You get back to the gym, then work load starts increasing out of nowhere,

that you actually can't find time.

You plan and plan and usually fail!

and the only one to blame in all this is Murphy !

see according to the Murphy's law "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong"

But you know what Mr. Murphy, not this time! 

I'm determined to make it through..

actually i want to announce to my Dearest virtual world,

that I'm doing better,

hmmm actually i'm just not bad, but i think its a start and its enough for now.

I mean, at the end, despite the bumpy ride and the multiple attempts to spoil it,

January and February of 2010 wasn't that bad after all. 

I'll detail more in another post

thats all for now

B-bye

brain dump during a randomness mood

- Question : Why the hell do you torture me like that every time you feel like it?

Answer : because I can !

- Humiliation so painful that makes suicide sound convincing .

- A luxurious prison, is still a prison.

- Marionettes is a sick, sadistic sort of art , yet everyone seems to enjoy the show .

- Anger ate my sanity and i'm always angry , doctor says its because i drink too much coffee !! 

- Female on display .

- Even Barbie got a bad reputation , KNOWING that it's just a plastic DOLL .

- Hit your head against a wall ; your head will bleed, the wall will crack 
but the problem will remain UNSOLVED !

- One person's misery is measured according to their own standards .

- can Too much love make a person crave for loneliness , sometimes ??.

- Justifications are a guilty conscious sedative drug .

- No matter how logical a person's point of view, its still a POINT OF VIEW !

- The group of hypothetical people always "SAYING" their holly opinions 

upon EVERYONE'S behavior : MASS MURDER !

is there really ever a point?

How often have you looked at your past life
 and felt a slight ache in your heart ?

Ever stopped to think: 
what is it really that's causing these aches?

Where is this technology taking us?

Are we really growing further apart in distance to eachother
the closer we get through technology?

Have our intimate moments become electronic?
How clear can our feelings truly show through a screen text?

Is the grass truly greener on the other side?
 What about the side we'r on now?
Ever considered to watch its true color?
 or is it the greed human nature of craving for
what ever you don't have?

Can we have it all?!
and..
What are the measures to this ultimate satisfaction ?

How long
can it
can you make it
can you believe it
last?

Is there really ever a point?

It's Funny how all the languages we created speak against our nature!