الى الطيور الشارده

أيها العصفور الشارد من سمائي اعلم أن سمائي ممطرة وأن الغيم كثيف فابقى وساعدنى كى أطير بعيدا عن أرض الأرض وعن كل ما اخافة فيها فعالمى مزدحم الدوروب وأنا روحي تواقة لهواء نظيف كل الدروب تتجاذبنى فاجذبنى اليك وضمنى لحيث لا حزن يكتب آثاره علي قلبي فيحذف هذا أو ذاك يضيف القنى وسط السحب حتي تكبر أجنحتي الصغيرة وتدرب الأنواء أعصابي فلا أضحي في دوائر الريح بجسد خفيف أنا أكره صلابة الاحجار وهي تفتت مشاعرى رويدا رويدا فهلا تهمس للبحر أن يكسرها حتي لا تكسر الورد اللطيف رجاءا، لا تدع النسمة الرقيقة علي نفسها تنزوي فإن برق الكراهية يصعق كل شيء وأنا أكره كل شيء عنيف أيها العصفور، خذني معك دعنى انزلق علي قوس قزح فأنا أهاب ظلام الشتاء و أكره قبرك يا خريف

realizations about life

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. 2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. 3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. 4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. 5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. 6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. 7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. 8. Always put yourself in the others shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts this person too. 9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless. 10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. 11. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

its just a thought

Fate determines who walks into your life... yet its you who determine who must walk out... who must stay and who you refuse to let go !!!.

wisdom from today

where can i find happiness if the things i believe in are different from the things i do?!!.

making love out of nothing at all

for almost a week i've been listning to one song repeatedly !!! i like to do this whenever i like a song, see music and songs are always attached to me with certain periods of time, people, places, even circumstances ANYWAY its a song for air supply, called making love out of nothing at all: i know just how to whisper And I know just how to cry I know just where to find the answers And I know just how to lie I know just how to fake it And I know just how to scheme I know just when to face the truth And then I know just when to dream And I know just where to touch you And I know just what to prove I know when to pull you closer And I know when to let you loose And I know the night is fading And I know the time's gonna fly And I'm never gonna tell you Everything I gotta tell you But I know I gotta give it a try And I know the roads to riches And I know the ways to fame I know all the rules And I know how to break 'em And I always know the name of the game But I don't know how to leave you And I'll never let you fall And I don't know how you do it Making love out of nothing at all Making love, Out of nothing at all Making love, Out of nothing at all Making love, Out of nothing at all Every time I see you all the rays of the sun Are streaming through the waves in your hair And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes Like a spotlight The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost And it's looking for a rhythm like you You can take the darkness from the pit of the night And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know Well it's nothing till I give it to you I can make the runner stumble I can make the final block And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle I can make all the stadiums rock I can make tonight forever Or I can make it disappear by the dawn I can make you every promise that has ever been made I can make all your demons be gone But I'm never gonna make it without you Do you really want to see me crawl And I'm never gonna make it like you do Making love out of nothing at all

wisdom from today

Sometimes you just have to step forward, and move on.. no questions, no doubts, no looking back.. Just move on !!!.

Definitions VII

no offense: A phrase used to make insults seem socially acceptable.

i'm still here

Time

there is this phrase that keeps playing in my head... it starts with something like only time will tell (or it needs time or something similar), and then the phrase I couldn't get out of my head "the problem with time is that it takes time"... then it hit me reading this dialogue somewhere i'm not sure which book but i think i know it by heart !!! "With everything that had happened, it would simply have been too soon. Elizabeth was correct: you do need time. The annoying thing about time is that it takes time . . . but no amount of it is too long to wait through when you're waiting to be sure. However much we might believe, and wish, it were true, you can't really be sure of what you feel however intensely and seriously and constantly you examine your thoughts and emotions. You can be really sure only by forcing yourself to wait: time alone can tell you what will last."

Serenity

I spend a lot of time worrying about the happy ending that I forget to enjoy the happy middle.. Once the ending was predetermined, and even though it was not "happy", I learned to enjoy the middle.. Regardless of the ending, anything is better. "Starting from nothing, you got nothing to lose." No need to worry about happy endings no more.. I am content. p.s. it's not that I don't want it, it is that I don't pursue it.. Let time fight the fight One last note: I cannot help it.. I plan and mastermind and plot and decide, and then it all crumbles down to pieces, and I am left there: just me.. plain and simple me.. well, maybe not so simple, but ME. Not because I cannot, but because I do not want to. And not because they "seem to have this effect on people"!

talk about love

Love is always patience and kind.. It's never jealous.. Love is never boastful nor conceited.. It's never rude or selfish.. It doesn't take offense & it's not resentful.. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins.. But delights in the truth..It's always ready to excuse..To trust..To hope & to endure..Whatever comes..

within a lonely night

There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you. To watch the distance between your two bodies expand until there is nothing left but empty spaces and silence ........ The only thing you should let slip through the cracks is pain. This way you hold on to it long enough to understand you'll never let it ever happen to you again.... People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. some drops of wisdom :) Don't complain and whine ; just work harder..work seems to make you forget anything. Your need & thirst can overcome any obstacles. Apologize in the right way. Perform your duties and karma may look after you. Show gratitude , kindness and humility. People have a higher priority over stuff. Its ALWAYS PEOPLE ABOVE STUFF. always Make everyone around you feel good. You'll never regret the silly stuff you've done in life during your deathbed , you'll only regret what you haven't done. Its fine to take care to live long enough , but DO take care to live well too. Find your passion. Do everything with zest. Be curious , energetic , enthusiastic and fun. and above all Love all,Sometimes it takes great courage to love someone but always enjoy practicing the verb LOVE.

just a question

Have you ever wanted to ask a question, but you didn’t, because you knew in your heart that you wouldn’t be able to handle the answer??!

a quote..

"When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it." ~Winnie the Pooh p.s i miss my boo bear, wish mozy can give it back

Dear saso..

Dear saso With all due respect, you are wrong. Things can (and do) work out sometimes for people.. Sometimes things are going off cliff when miraculously, they actually do work out. You need to understand and believe in it, or it never will come your way.. Of course sometimes things tend to have a mind of their own and just screw themselves up, but you never know when they're going to get better! saso, you need to do your work keeping in mind that things can go terribly wrong, yet believe that they can work out....... Dear saso, i'll either bring sunshine into your dark side or give you a heart-attack... Both ways, you'll deserve it :)..

Definitions VI

LOST: is when you feel distracted, distraught, desperate, hopeless....

living in black and white

Many people say that when Life's black&white it's boring, unadventurous, straight forward and apparently there's something wrong with that, i don't know it, or to be more honest i know it and ignoring it !!! from my point of view there's nothing wrong with living life black and white only, because if everything i do or say or listen to, or open my mind to think about is straight forward then there's no pain, no heartbreak and no stress Which means happiness, less tears and an easier life. Whats so bad about that?

Vicious circles

My whole life is a bit round around the edges. No sharp angles, no pointed corners. There is nothing definite, nothing determined, everything open to discussion. I just fade out or phase out then blend in because I believe I choose my battles, and right now I cant find a battle worth fighting. That's what you get when you cross a circle with real life. * Today I am A small blue thing Like a marble Or an eye With my knees against my mouth I am perfectly round I am watching you I am cold against your skin You are perfectly reflected I am lost inside your pocket I am lost against Your fingers I am falling down the stairs I am skipping on the sidewalk I am thrown against the sky I am raining down in pieces I am scattering like light Scattering like light Scattering like light Today I am A small blue thing Made of china Made of glass I am cool and smooth and curious I never blink I am turning in your hand Turning in your hand Small blue thing ~ Suzanne Vega, Small Blue Thing

Comfort Zone

my "lather, rinse, repeat" routine is changing willingly or by force that's not the issue!
I am now officially out of my comfort zone..
was it a comfort zone really? Not really but I was haunted with a fear of it becoming one!
change for the sake of change is bad,
but this is change for the sake of.... hmmm... growing? yes, growing, maturing, and moving out.. (i hope!)

Those who wanted me in their lives is gone.. and who want me to leave don't know what i learned by staying and was even scared of my being around them.. so this was/is/will be my call alone...

only me know how I liked it at first, and how it suffocated me later, and i know the in between..


Random facts (or what my friend calls "leakage from a water cooler")

* I love the taste of lemon and mint..
* Recently I feel guilty for sleeping more than i should !!
* I have a terrible headache
* In spite of being an unemotional, antisocial, autistic person, i will miss them.. some more than others, but i will miss them..
* I am very nostalgic!

The summer days are gone too soon
You shoot the moon
And miss completely
And now you're left to face the gloom
The empty room that once smelled sweetly
Of all the flowers you plucked if only
You knew the reason
Why you had to each be lonely
Was it just the season?


i had more thoughts to write, bass khalass that's about it for now..

wisdom from today

Everyone's all sweet when their in love/acting nice, but it's when something bad happens that they show their true colors

special person never die (Farewell My Friend)

i've been trying too hard to destruct myself from thinking, from writing ABOUT IT from even believing, from crying, yet i just keep having these flashes of thoughts like:

i always knew he'll be back one day and perhaps i'll go meet him at the airport, yet i never ever thought he'll be back in a box !!

i'll never get to go to my best friend's wedding,

i'll never teas him again i'll never find someone to have a childish silly conversation with someone to listen to me while i sarcasm every detail of my day..

i don't know how to feel, i mean yes i'm chocked,
yet i am more sorry for him than i'm for losing my best friend,

i feel stuck in the middle , i'm loaded with eight years memories , that's too much to tell and too much to forget...

i always wondered why he mailed this poem to me once, i guess now ,i found a place to put it and a situation that suits it

"It was beautiful as long as it lasted The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell,
farewell my friend
I smile and bid you goodbye."

i didn't and won't shed any tears for I need them not All I need is your smile.
I feel sad for you're no longer here
you live in the hearts of those how loves, i remember that and i know you never dead.

fuzzy thoughts

i've never been a person who has the ability of braking somebody's heart, or say insulting stuff , i always preferred being left than leaving someone.

usually or mostly when i can't bear someone or something i just walk away, hide, avoid contact but i have never done that kind of dramatic conversations , where you say i don't think we are gonna be friends i see nothing in common between us, or its not gonna work ect....

i always been known as a bold person but when it comes to this subject i just can't...i know its not a right thing..

today i have this thought: do i really just walk away or i actually run away??!!
and when i run away am i running for something that i want more, or something better??

or am i running away from something that i'm afraid to have / i can't have??

i've never knew

its just a thought

Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them last
or the amount of time since you've talked.
It’s about that very moment when you're doing something, and you wish, you wish that they were right there with you

Regardless.......

Regardless of if you love them,or hate them,
wish they would die or know that you would die without them,
it matters not.
Because once in your life, Regardless of whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable, consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her/his very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind, but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.

wisdom from today

when things happen in real life, extraordinary things, there's no music, there's no dah-dah-daaahhs, no close ups, no dramatic camera angles.nothing happens.nothing stops, the rest of the world goes on.

just a thought

every single day i am asked this following question like 20 times "how are you? ", sometimes it's from people who care enough to ask and really mean it, and most of the time people just ask it to start a conversation... p.s "i really hate it when people ask question that they really don't want to know its answer, i mean its meaningless, useless and a total waste of time" and back to the subject my reply is usually one of these things: *allah yesalemek/yesalemak if i want to give the full-stop answer that ends the conversation. * never been better to assure to someone that everything is under control * if its a customer i'd say: how may i help you .. which is totally irrelevant and most of the time i just drow that fake smile and say "i'm fine" yet fine for me stands for: F:freaked out, I:insecure, N:neurotic E:emotional.......

thought from today

In life, hurting each other is easier than loving one another.

What is perfect to you?

Perfect can be a tear or a smile. Perfect can be travel or stay at home. Perfect can be a moment or a whole life. Perfect can be a kiss or a love history. Perfect is always something that’s yours. Something that's unexpected or is very expected. Perfect is something that lasts so long or something that just doesn’t last. It’s what you see or what you don’t see. Perfect can be programmed or improvised. Perfect can be sweet or salty. Perfect can be a word or a number. Perfect is everything that makes us feel better without knowing why. perfection is something We recognize its meaning at the time p.s this post is for the "imperfect perfectionist"...

wisdom from today

LIFE IS A TRAGEDY FOR THOSE WHO FEEL, AND A COMEDY FOR THOSE WHO THINK....

forget and i'll forget

Forget the things I used to say,
forget the way you felt.
Forget the way i said your name,
forget what made you melt.
Forget the things that made you laugh,
forget what made you cry.
Forget what made you want to change,
and I'll forget the lies.
Forget whatever made you want,
because that was not enough.
Forget the good that didn't last,
and I'll forget the ruff.
Forget the words you couldn't say,
and I'll forget them too.
Forget that if we talked it out,
we might have made it through.
Forget about me and let me go,
as I try to accept the truth.
And maybe soon enough, forgetting won't be so hard to do..

process failed .. Damn not giving

wisdom from today

note to self and anyone who can use a piece of advice:
Stop being kind and understanding. Kind and understanding are the reason you are a push-over!

that's why

you know why am doing all this? you know why I always shut up and let you do it all? yo know why I never complain and just get hurt with all the words you say.. so that when one day if you never see what you have, which is a girl who's helplessly in-love with you, a girl who's trying to be everything you need.. So that when you don't see that.. and I have the courage to see myself out and walk away.. You'll see that what I've done to you isn't what any other girl would do.. So that at least after am gone, you'll appreciate me..

it always begins with one simple little thing, rest is up to me!

One song can spark a moment, One flower can wake the dream One tree can start a forest, One bird can herald spring. One smile begins a friendship, One handclasp lifts a soul. One star can guide a ship at sea, One word can frame the goal. One vote can change a nation, One sunbeam lights a room. One candle wipes out darkness, One laugh will conquer gloom. One step must start each journey, One word must start each prayer. One hope will raise our spirits, One touch can show you care. One voice can speak with wisdom, One heart can know what's true. One life can make the difference, You see it's up to "me"

thought from today

Life is a series of challenges, try facing them alone, and you'll either be crushed , or will drift you away from every one cares about you or loves you...family, friends and partners Life is not worth being lived alone.. so make sure you have the right company for the journey... and try and make it a pleasant one with lots of good memories to be recalled by because memories you make are the only thing you leave to those you met in the journey of life.."

Things that annoy me:

-when people whisper and when to ask them to please stop, they claim you can't hear them. Well Sherlock if i couldn't hear you i wouldn't be asking you to shut it in the first place would i?? -When friends try to tell me how i feel. Nothing aggravates me more than when someone says "you're upset". How do you know if I'm upset? maybe i'm so happy i'm sad!? -When people say the phrase "back in my day". Seriously guys. It was like 20 to 40 years ago. Things just aren't the same. Get over it! -When someone close to me find me blue or upset for a reason that they doesn't know and they try to blame all traces of bad moods on PMS. Come on. get real i'm not PMS-ing 365 days a year :@!!! will be continued...

the quote of the day!!

There is a wonderful law of nature that the 3 things we desire most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else.

somebody i know mailed me this quote today, big words, nicely joined yet,that's not true... i mean how could someone give something that he doesn't have?!!!

The Truth about Cats

I've had a lot of cat metaphors recently related to me: * the movie, Truth about Cats & Dogs, keeps coming up.. the same argument over and over again.. would you choose comfort or thrill? someone cheering for your league or way out of your league? They cant always seem to link how comfort sometimes IS a hidden thrill.. judging and labeling.. fa eih ya3ni?! why do you care about the label when its the feeling that counts?? just get along! * "el 2ott ye7eb khana2o" this phrase has been used in conjugation with me unlimited number of times in a million contexts and no matter how i try to explain, i cant get them to understand that el 2ott doesn't like khana2o.. el 2ott likes someone, and this someone happens to yekhno2o.. i don't like you BECAUSE you abuse me, i like you IN SPITE of the abuse! * the same old sneaking (or is it gracefully walking?) like a cat and just giving people this "cat look".. I used to call it "cat out alone in the rain" look.. Of becoming a Pastafarian I came across this wiki page a while ago http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster and although it might -strongly- offend what i believe in.. yet i found the idea hilarious and the way he challenged their ideas quite entertaining.. So the other day am @ Diwan (the day i got that blue notebook) and i saw "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" containing the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn't see".. anyway i got it a couple days ago, and started reading it right away.. So far it is really interesting.. the thing about it, is that it makes you re-question your faith in stuff.. which -to me- can actually be a way to regain, revive, or reinforce faith.. It makes you wonder why you believe in what you believe, and dig deeper in this paradigm.. Bobby Henderson (the originator and author) does that in a cool way by illustrating how correlation doesn't equal causation (a favorite topic of mine!) through establishing that "global warming, earthquakes , hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s" (where pirates are FSM "chosen people"!) ah yes, hear this, followers of FSM are called Pastafarians.. I particularly liked this one from the Eight I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodle goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick): * Ending poverty * Curing diseases * Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable Predispositions, Assumptions, and Preconceived Notions Hate them.. try to prove it wrong in every possible way.. but what i hate most is that i sometimes end up using them myself! Total Perspective Vortex The Total Perspective Vortex, in the fictional world of Douglas Adam's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is the most horrible torture device to which a sentient being can be subjected. Located on Frog star World B, it shows its victim the entire unimaginable infinity of the universe with a very tiny marker that says "You Are Here" which points to a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot. Instead of thinking how significant we are -to the universe, to those around us, and to our closest people- how about for a change we consider how Insignificant we are to the world? Makes all the difference! Delirium Quote(s) I just came into the book of quotable Sandman's that i got a while ago , and i really liked these.. * "I like airplanes. I like anywhere that isn't a proper place. I like in-betweens." (Someone just said something similar about me 2 days ago!) * "I am following my fish."

Relationships are overrated

i'm by nature threatened, insecure, wary of inconsistency and with you I always feel the need to be inconsistent.. because when I don't know what to expect, I don't know what to give... i was always a person who knew what to expect, a person with so high expectations according to some.. or maybe just the wrong expectations, a parallel view.. So you confuse me, by your twisted manipulative ways that are unjustifiably cruelly not-straight-forward. So I become inconsistent.. bipolar? No, I stopped.. I don't get angry, life is too short to spend it playing games.. not your kind of games at any rate.. Once I put my mind to it, it became too easy to forget. So much so that now I am even unable to call it back to my memory when I want to. Then how can I remember the exact hour it was one year ago, and yet forget most of what's after? but yet, it's good to feel how bad it felt. Relationships are overrated. Don't get me wrong, I am not in any way bitter. Allow me to rephrase then: the added-value of relationships is way too overrated!

DON'T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD

this song keeps pumping into my head every now and then
so here's its lyrics

Baby, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
Well don't you know that no-one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
I'm just a soul who's intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
And sometimes it seems that
All I have to do is worry
And then you're bound to see my other side
I'm just a soul who's intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
If I seem edgy, I want you to know
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has it's problems and I get my share
And that's one thing
I never mean to do 'cause I
love you Oh, oh, oh, baby, don't you know
I'm human Have thoughts like any other one
Sometimes I find myself alone and regretting
Some foolish thing, some little simple thing
I've done I'm just a soul who's intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul who's intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul who's intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul who's intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

my drops of wisdom & thoughts during last week :P !!

The following is a collection of phrases said by me over the last weeks.. I amaze myself sometimes!

"I don't _have_ a moral fiber.. My moral fiber got torn" (said to D who thought it was way too visual and disturbing)

"They're not wrinkles, they are laugh lines" (I am proud of this one, you are all allowed (read "encouraged"!) to use it, quoting me)

"You are ALL older than me, how come you ALL don't have a single white hair and I do." said in spite and envy.. now everyone I know will blame me and my curse at the sight of a first white hair..

*frustrated tone* "oh, but that's not how _we_ do it" (everyone is dying to know who is this 'we', and you can replace 'do' with eat/say/wear, etc.)

"ugh! I am having a hormonal rage!" (also said to others, "why are you being hormonal?")

and this masterpiece is from a friend, she saw a mobinil billboard saying "3eesh 3al net",
her next thought "mana already 3aysha 3al net!"
then the following thought was "I should sooooo share this" (i've been spending a LOT of time recently online!) The thought and the after-thought are both hilarious and sad..
I don't know which is sadder, her response to the ad, or sharing it with me!


"I was abused as a child, that's why" - said on several occasions as an excuse for my weird behavior.. other runners up include:
"I fell on my head as a child"
"I am autistic sometimes"
"I blame it on the stuff I smoke" or "it's the cannabis I take in the morning"
"I live mostly inside my head"


And the finale, "I don't really like people, you know"

realizations

Due to my work location I've to take a 5 or 15 min walk everyday from where I get out of the cap, the time depends on how far he'll be from my work location
I'd watch people and what they do. Students going to school or university, people heading to work, random people just there in the street for no particular reason, people at a local cafe, police officers, car keepers, doormen,...etc.
That made me realize something, the men in the Egyptian's streets (By that I mean anonymous random people in the street, a friend doesn't count, neither someone you see in the office but don't know their name.
(I'm talking about the guy in the street that knows he will never see you again)
any Egyptian man in the street will see a woman, evaluate her age, appearance, ..Etc then keep staring at her and meanwhile do one of the following:

(a) Take the angry religious approach:
استغفر اللله العظيم من كل ذنب عظيم
or
ربنا يهديكي و يسترك

(b) The shy mo3aksa approach:
ايه الحلاوة دي
or
نهارنا ابيض
or simple words which could mean anything or nothing just to make sure the female hears them.

(c) The rude mo3aksa approach which I won't mention examples and is usually is boarder-lined with abuse. The more one understands what they say, the more it embarrasses, hurts, and annoys the female. When I was younger, I couldn't understand life appeared way more beautiful.

(d) The religious approach mo3aksa which I think is brand new. It's kind of creative to link the two new trends: fake religion and lack of manners
تباراك الله في خلقه , يا رب ارزقنا واحدة من دول

(e) The social mo3aksa approach, in case he is with a friend, or sitting at an 2ahwa...
بالك يا واد يا محسن , انا لو ربنا ادانى واحدة زي ال *** الي هناك , والله لاتعدل و
or
شوفتوا ال *** الى هناك يا رجالة
And they'll say it once the female had passed them, but not too far to make sure he hears them.

Then there are two special cases that take place if the female is riding an expensive car, or looks foreign or rich...etc. Both involve trying to make money off her...

(f) By emotional abuse, begging...etc
(g) By picking a fight, hitting her car, making a scene where by-passers will always gather and blame the rich female (its a hidden law of the street) , which they expect, she'll just buy her way out of and save herself the embarrassment or the time.

As I said, I know that there are many decent "Egyptian men", but so far, in this country, I have not seen any man enough to try to stop the above from happening. The best they do, is mind their own business.


Anyway, it's like, if I ever had any doubt, I am now sure, it will never get better. I hate this country. i hate the fact that i can't walk or jag or even do my daily normal activities without being bothered from people on the street.....

a thought from today

When I look around I think this, this is good enough and I try to laugh
at whatever life brings because when I look down I miss all the good stuff and when I look up
I just trip over things...

tonight i wanna cry

Tonight I cried for me.

Tonight I cried,Because I’m tired,

Tired of holding it in,

I cried for time.

Tonight I cried,and It wasn’t planned,
Nor was it sad,
I cried for relief.

Tonight I cried,Because I had to,
tonight I cried 

for hope to come.

Tonight I cried,Because of life,
It isn’t what I’ve planned,
I cried for existence.

Tonight I cried,for everyone 

sitting somewhere alone

for everyone searching

for a shoulder to lean his head in 

tonight i cried for everyone longing

for some one
I cried for love

that i don't know where it has gone.

tonight i cried for everyone 

who lost a dream

for everyone who lost someone dear

tonight i cried for every broken wing bird

Tonight I started crying for me,
I am afraid because it doesn't seem to stop.

Watch her eyes

this's one of the nicest stories i ever read, hope you like it as much as i did 

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" 

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. 

When God got on the phone, he asked, 

"God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

my movies

 hello again,

here i'm sleepless as usual , thinking about the movies that i like, that really touched me, that i memorized its dialogue by heart , 

 i thought i can share some of my favorite quotes in movies and blog it 

actually i wanna write it up to make sure i'll always remember it  more than i wanna share it, anyway here we go:

• The things two people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it's not because they forget; it's because they forgive.

• Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it, because if we actually felt how much we loved them.. It would kill us.

 

• Some people can't believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.
  

• And all the while I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up.

• Forever is a long time and time has a way of changing things.

 

• When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you.

• I live in a world full of people pretending to be something they're not 

• We walk away from our dreams afraid we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed. 

• You can't lose someone you never had.

• There are some hurts that you never completely get over. And you think that time will diminish their presence and to a degree it does, but it still hurts because well, hurt hurts.

• As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened that we just can't.

 

 

Random thoughts and quotes on a lonely night...

- Mating season for humans

- Is it really worth it?

- Hatred and love are becoming so intense these days

- "You don't know what you got until it's gone, but I found out a little too late..." from the song "Hard habit to break" by Chicago

- Being loved is a great blessing, any kind of love in fact is a blessing, so never take it for granted

- Crossroads

- Sometimes never taking a decision is a decision itself

- When you do your best to maintain a relationship of any kind, and it ends up in failure, the feelings usually turn into contempt... it's not pure hatred but it's a mixture of disgust, regret, and other ingredients

- hurting yourself is much better than hurting others and feeling guilty about it

- I miss home even when I'm home

- Why do we always miss the past and wish we could get it back ? Is it because it was really beautiful, or because we didn't understand then that it is as ugly as the present?

- How soon is now?

- I started to find it hard for me to smile in photos when they ask me to

- I don't feel like sleeping but I have nothing better to do

- "We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky as we lie in fields of gold" (Sting - Fields Of Gold)

to be continued some other lonely night, and believe me there is a plenty of them.

Insomnia

Insomnia is my new best friend as well as an enemy. She plays my memories like a film to keep me from my sleep.
The horrors of my life unfold as I sit here in the dark.
Look at all the sorrow that I've felt and all the anger that I should have delt. 
The fear, the pain, and insecurity that drives me near the edge. 
Something deep inside of me that cannot make amends. 
My stomach clenches, my heart beats fast, and tears well in my eyes. 
Why won't it stop? 
Why can't I rest?
Let me sleep and dream tonight so I can find some peace.
But morning will come soon and these thoughts will
never cease.

Sometimes..sometimes happens

Sometimes the strangest things happen.
Sometimes you wake up and deep down..you have a good feeling.
Sometimes something tells you to do something completely out of the regular.
Sometimes this something lets you meet your love.
Sometimes this completely random person turns out to be the most amazing person you know.
Sometimes you meet a person and wonder how you ever woke up in the morning without them in your life.
sometimes love stories have happy ends
sometimes you've what you need when you need it
sometimes days are bright
sometimes people come into your life and stick around 
sometimes hearts don't change
sometimes you are in the right place with the right person saying the right thing and hearing the thing that you wanna hear


Sometimes..sometimes happens it just never happened to me.

wisdom from today

A better relation does not depend upon how good understanding we have,it rather depends upon how good we are at avoiding misunderstandings.

thought from today

we should always try to understand the world with the mind of an adult but we should try to look at it like you did as a child. whats the point in not having fun with what you understand? But we should always try to show others how to use the items we cherish, for what is the use of fun when you don't have more people to join you?

والسلام

ممكن اكون كلبه بلدى بتنبح فى الضلمة فى عز البرد

والناس  سهرانة دافيانه فى بيوتها

  ممكن اكون قطة فى شارع ضايعة وسط الزحام

  ممكن اكون حمار حصاوي نفسه يهرب من وجع الايام

 ممكن اكون غلاف كتاب ملون بس مفيهوش كلام


ممكن اكون بندقية عبيطة من غير ذخيرة رافضة الاستسلام
  لكن اكيد أنا مكتئبه فاشلة وحيده ضايعة الاحلام

أنا صديقة البطل اللي مالهاش لزمة في كل الأفلام

أنا نكتة بايخة وخناقة تافهة على أي حاجة
والسلام

A Collection of Quotes from Maya Angelou

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope."

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution."

"We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated."

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

"Nothing will work unless you do."

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."

"Be certain that you do not die without having done something wonderful for humanity."

"Miracles can happen through prayer."

"A friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face."

Casablanca

a beautiful classic movie i never get board of watching it
It has some of the most memorable quotes like "We'll always have Paris"
Also Humphrey Bogart's famous phrase to Ingrid Bergman "Here's looking at you, kid."
and what Bogart says to the pianist "You played it for her, you can play it for me! . . . If she can stand it, I can! Play it!"

anyway, i just wanted to blog this song, "As Time Goes By"

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by
And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you"
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by
Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny
it's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

one of my happiest thoughts

I know it's not right, but I didn't need any one else in my life. "Mozy" was enough. He gave me reason to exist, and be happy and content. 

I've always known I'll have to change to be "sane", "taking care of myself" and "socialize". 

I knew I locked myself in my comfort zone and ignored the scary world around me.

I knew all that. 

I just was not ready to change it now (or maybe not ever).

It had to be enforced by some supernatural force.

There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
I've been going through them all for a while and currently, I'm numb, which probably means i'm back to denial.

I'm not sure if having some ties ( answering his shallow phone calls, listing to his daily activities in chat,supporting him when he runs back to me when he's down or something goes wrong in his life..etc) is better or a cold-turkey approach where one cuts all ties with his ex??!!
i'm not even sure if he really is my ex yet, or even if this whole year did happened and wasn't just a dream or a nightmare. 

But I think about you everyday "Mozy". 

I want to tell you one thing; no matter what happens, how things change, you will always be one of my happiest thoughts.

a prayer in a thought

سابتسم .. فإن هناك من هو الرحمن  يحبنى و يعتني بى و يحمينى و ينصرنى و يسمعنى و يرانى

thought from today

Having a place to go - is a home. Having someone to love - is a family. Having both - is a blessing.