back straightening words together

today i thought of going  to the cobbler

and fix that hole in my shoe
He took one look at me
And said, "I can fix that hole in you"

I beg your pardon,

I'm not looking for a cure .!!
Seen enough of people and life

In the depths of the sick blues
 

You know I am a liar Nobody Helps a Liar...

And you don't know what I have done 

NOBODY knows.. 

a question from today

are you satisfied with merely knowing the acts of God, or do you still want to know His ways???

somebody please tell me its not just me?

wisdom from today

the most important thing in listening is to hear what isn't being said.!!

the truth

here's the truth about the truth:
IT HURTS.!!
so we simply choose to lie.

lie to ourselves, to our beloved ones

we fake ourselves and say we are gonna come clean and spell the truth out, and then something or someone tells us not to, not right now not today, not in such circumstances, there's always an excuse.

the truth do hurts so we lie !!....

a quote from today

"Smile," they said, "Life could be worse!"

So I did,

and it was.!!

just a prayer

Dear God,

would you please show me a sign to make me believe that this nostalgia will fade away one day,

and if not would you please consider blessing me with the blessing of forgetting, 

and if not would you please take away my heart from me i don't wanna feel anymore.!!

thanks in advanced

me 

this is the thing

the things that keep us apart keep me alive. and the things that keep me alive keep me alone.

i don't wanna talk about it

I'm assuming that I may not be happy where my life is going or at least where my life "is" right now though its not really a big deal to me, as long as i'm in an in between phase of happiness and misery.
reason i say so is because each day i add a new issue to my " I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT" list

which i sometimes call it my "easy way list"
i  might seem aggressive to people from the out side but i know and people who really know me well know i'm not, yet to me i think I'm becoming tense, having this fear of tomorrow, having a huge feeling of emptiness and loneliness yet i don't feel lost just irritable.

 it's one of those phases which I just feel like curling in bed,
or hiding  in the corner of my room with curtains closed and hope nobody finds me.
I just don't wanna talk about things or perhaps talk about anything
 i don't wanna talk about:

Why do you often think about him? I don't want to talk about it.

Why aren't  you making new friends? i don't want to talk about it

Where is folana? We haven't heard her name in a while. 

What are you doing this weekend? 

Why don't you go out anymore? I don't want to talk about it.

why are you afraid of eating? Are you still on a diet? loosing weight? 

Is that your breakfast? I don't want to talk about it. 

Are you still single? 

No one interesting around you?

I don't want to talk about it. 

still not fitting in at your new work?I don't want to talk about it. 

whats wrong with you? I just don't want to talk about it..

i mean we all have our issues to handle so i don't wanna annoy others with my own issues that's if they truly cared, but if not my life is a subject for chit-chatting 

About a scarred heart..

they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

but they never mentioned that to get stronger, you have to be killed inside..!

A heart always heals.. 

so it can get hurt again.

Hurts that leave scars.
Scars to remind you ! 

Remind you of what you can never forget.
Scars to let you know how strong you've become !!

And when you finally feel strong enough,You realize that you never actually needed strength !

All you need is a living memory to remind you that you are still alive in the times you feel so dead !

Souls trapped in dead selves,chased by memories..

When the world goes around and only your clock stops,You find yourself frozen in time,alone.

You try to escape to never land...

Walking in passages surrounded by smoke ,

everything is so clear,you look, you see, you smile,it's dark..

but it's your picture perfect !

You reach for your voice ,but talking is too painful, listening to your own voice aches !
Aching inside with every echo..!

You are never sober ,but always awake, always aware..

 You die in the most times you are living

Fight for a breath when all you inhale is smoke.
 

You listen to songs in your head, The lyrics all make sense now,you're seeing what you've never seen before !
You're looking at yourself,a stranger !
Someone you don't know.. 

 "HI,have we met? 

why do you look so familiar to me?"
 

In times you can never recognize your own self anymore..
 

Everything seems so horrible, 

so meaningless so you search for ways to lose yourself even more
in order to not be able to realize the fact of losing it long ago..

shattered away..in million pieces of me !

no, this post isn't just & no its not coming out from deeply in my mind

I have been loved,

world i have been loved and that's something i think everybody must feel at least once in his/her life time..

i have been loved and i felt it,

i have been loved and i touched it, 

i have been loved and i have seen it in his eyes,

i have been loved too much to a degree that it was hard for me to actually believe all that love giving to messy scary me.

i have been loved and i knew even before it came that I'd rather argue with him till the sky falls down on me than be with anybody else.

i have been loved and i have never find the right time or place to tell that amazing someone that " i choose him" 

that i wanna wake up with him, fall asleep with him and do everything in between with him.

i have been loved and i was too worried to enjoy it as much as i should have because i was old and wise enough to know that fairy tales doesn't come true.

i have been loved and that is something you should feel at least once in a life time.

i have been loved

thank you for once loving me.

sarah