فيه شخبطة فى دماغى

been thinking about that phrase for sometime now.. its funny.. no one reads directions on a shampoo bottle anymore.. you just know you're supposed to "lather, rinse, repeat".. If product gets into eyes, wash them immediately with water. If problem persists, consult your physician. For external use only (who would ever drink shampoo!)

It's funny.. just becomes a background process keda.. you never stop to wonder or think, is there a better way to do things? Maybe i shouldnt repeat lest my hair gets too dry.. Do i need to change my shampoo? What about conditioner? it just becomes part of your routine..
(note to self -and to readers-: i sound too much like who moved my cheese!)


I am questioning my shampoo big time.. maybe i need to wash my hair with soap instead.. maybe i need to switch to a more fancy brand... i dont know YET, but what i do know is, its time to throw away that bottle and requestion my hair washing techniques!


(As my best friend he'll: ely fahem 7aga yerfa3 2eedo!) All in favor say "Aye"..


bahayes no? "feh sha5bata fe demaghy", saraseer and spiders too..


Anyway, to rap up, here is a part of a song from my childhood that i relate to....
read it thru, its deeper than it seems..


would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather be a fish


A fish won't do anything but swim in a brook
he can't write his name or read a book
to fool the people is his only thought
and though he's slippery he still gets caught
but if then that sort of life is what you wish
you may grow up to be a fish
a new kind of jumped up slippery fish


And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
everyday you see quite a few
so you see it's all up to you,
you could be better than you are
you could be swinging on a star




p.s. would you please say a little prayer for me..

How to grieve

"After the first death, there is no other," wrote Dylan Thomas. 

That doesn't mean the ones that come after won't break your heart, but it's the first that punches your soul's passport.

 Welcome, fellow human, to a different country than the one you woke up to this morning.

 The air's different here; so is the scenery.

 Your knees don't work so well; in fact, you may want to fall to them.

For a precious little while, you are allowed to be stunned into silence, or to shriek, or to talk—recounting stories of who he was, what she meant to you, and how it all came to an end. 

Tell those stories. Some people may try to enforce "The Rules," to wit: Enough of This Drama Is Enough.

 Ignore them. 

Besides, if you treat yourself gently and take the time you need, someday soon you'll hear the faint but steady voice of your own good sense.

Play music you love, sit in the sunshine if you can find some, and if anyone offers you a hand, hold it.

 Let them feed the cat, too, because they want to be useful.

 If your good sense does not kick in on its own, help it along: scramble some eggs.

 It will feel strange at first.

 But if you pretend that scrambling eggs is normal, eventually it will become normal.

 Soon you can squeeze some orange juice, too. 

 For some of us the stay in this new country seems endless.

 But time passes, seasons change, and, truly, would those we grieve for want us to mope? Come with me, back into the world. 

We'll return to this land someday, all too soon, but in the meantime the garden needs weeding, the bills need paying.

 Your other loved ones need you.

 And you, my sweet friend, you could use a shampoo. —Larkin Warren

a thought from today 10-11-2011

For some people and I'm one of them it isn't enough to see a beautiful garden, people like me enjoy it more if they think it has fairies at its bottom 
For people like me life isn't nice when its white, it must be in techno colour to be nice, for people like me rain is chilling but we want rainbows too, people like me enjoy spring mornings but with our eyes wondering around for butterflies. 
People like me want that extra thing that makes it all complete.

of icecream and stuff that brings happiness

Like how a lot of people crave for the sweetness of ice cream, a lot of people desire the sweetness of happiness. 
Some, however, detest happiness, not unlike people with sensitive teeth detest ice cream.


Ice cream are like happiness. Some like to add toppings and dried food on top of it. People like me prefer plain ice cream without toppings.


Happy things that are significant are like huge oversized ice cream. It is better to be shared rather than gobbling it down alone.
 Finishing an oversized ice cream alone doesn’t give you scalable satisfaction.
 It might just give you stomach ache.

Do you relate at all to being sensitive or antisocial or introvert?

though I enjoy the balance of having a social life, I going shopping with the girls from work, spending time wondering at night with my car, and spend time with family and the remains few friends i still have.

yet, I always need time alone to counterbalance the time with others or outside of the confines of my bubble.

 I also enjoy being my own best friend. I never let myself down, you know?

i admit that I’m a pretty sensitive person.. Large crowds deplete me.

 I will feel tired even after eating at a restaurant, especially if people are loud. (On a side note: I can’t believe how loud some people are in restaurants! Do you really have to shout or talk on your phone in public?)

I laugh when people say that sensitivity is a gift. I relate to that a bit, but I have known so many gifted, talented, but sensitive creative people. We talk about how it’s our sensitivity that helps us get in touch with our creative sides.  I’m not so sure any more about that gift aspect of it.

I like to be all by myself at times. Other times, I feel like it would be nice to be around others, but I am tired in advance , and i don't know why so I don’t!!. 

I have found navigating through friendships as an adult to be very challenging at times. I tend to screen my phone calls. I tend to prefer emails, chat as a form of communication. I like to shop at stores during the week when they are less busy.. I do the best I can as much as i can bear, yet it still get into me and bother me being judged for being sensitive, antisocial or introvert..

that's when real life begins

When a couple first 'fall in love', they usually do not talks about what it means to be together, or what either are prepared to do or not do,

 or what is expected. 

Both parties are just feeling so good being around each other,neither stop to think about it.

 But then when the 'honeymoon' is over, there can be misunderstandings, hurts, resentments and unspoken rules broken.

and that's when real life begins..!!!

انا لست من مرمر ودانتيل

I have always had a problem with Nizar qabany poetry. There is something that bothered me about It but i just could not point it.

i mean the man loves women, to the point of adoration even!!
 what's MY problem with that exactly?


I cannot deny I liked some of his poetry. I would not seek it though, I would only read what comes in my way -whether by chance or recommendation-.

yet lately and with a couple of unpleasant incedent that accord to me i realized why i have problems with nizar 

my problem is "When someone refers me to Nizar", that is my issue.

 I do not want the "woman/muse" model.

 I do not have an issue with being an inspiration or a muse, in fact who wouldn't want to!

 But I do have an issue with this being what defines me.

 I have an issue with this forming a screen between "who I am" and "how you perceive me to be". 

Because I must stay young, and lovely, and sweet, and happy. I _must_ stay this person.

I must not worry or doubt or question. I must not feel insecure. Even when you like my imperfections, you like them as part of my muse-being, just like you would admire a chip in the body of a lovely sculpture, just like you admire Venus without arms.